Surrogacy is an unheard of topic in our coloured community. It’s more of a TV thing, or a rich people thing! It is such a misunderstood concept, even by myself until not so long ago. I was offered enough money to buy myself a car in exchange for 9 months of my life. Yip, I was approached by a mommy of two, to carry her much desired third baby. And so my research began …
I thought about it for a while, though not seriously considering it. I even read up on VBAC (Vaginal Birth After C-section) coz I delivered Jazzy through Caesarean going on 41 weeks, after dilating only 2cm when induction and breaking my water failed. I don’t know how much truth there is to it, but I’ve heard that after your first C-section you can only deliver two more babies in the same manner (unless of course you’re pregnant with twins) , i.e. you can only be cut open three times. (midwives please enlighten us)
I spoke to boyfriend coz we got plans, you know. But besides that, if I were to be with-child it’s obvious that people would assume he impregnated me. And then there’s my daughter to consider. She’s going to expect a little brother or sister at the end of the day. How does one explain this to a child? How is the other mommy going to explain to her other kids where the new baby comes from? What if I do it then don’t want to give their baby back?
I thought about possible reasons as to why I was asked. Do I look medically fit and motherly? Do I come across as being mentally/emotionally stable? Coz looks can be deceiving!
There is much involved when considering surrogacy – it’s a rather complex process. It’s not as easy as simply approaching someone and offering them cash to carry your baby. Lots of assessments are done to establish your mental and medical fitness to carry out this process, not to mention the legal contracts, etc. I still don’t know as much as I’d like to know wrt this process and its procedures. Scientifically it interests me though. It’s amazing how there is still hope of becoming a mother even after a woman has had a hysterectomy for whatever medical or personal reasons.
I think this is hands down one of the most selfless acts a woman could ever do for another woman. Would you do it? Please share your thoughts on this subject with me.