Sorry for playing with words… On the other hand, you guys must stop liking things so much! Seeing that you’re here, you might as well stay and read on.

CUM Books sponsored my monthly feature radio-gig, “Girls Only” on PEfm with some awesome giveaway prizes and as I was going through the box of goodies, this specific book grabbed my attention. The cover begged me to turn it over, and I immediately started reading it. The title “#Struggles”, together with the tag line “following Jesus in a selfie-centered world”, tells me that the author knows what’s what. Craig Groeschel creates the feel of the digital world on paper. He puts the sub-heading of each chapter in a twitter-like text bubble, which in my opinion is very clever!

As you may have gathered from my IG posts, this book is about social media and the struggles that come with it. I didn’t finish reading it yet, as I find myself re-reading chapters and working through the truths that the content forces you to confront! I promise no spoilers!!

Not so long ago, Laz and I went on a date. You guys were there too! And behind us sat this annoyingly cute elderly couple who were obviously so in love coz they were kissing and whispering and being all romantic, while us millennial peoples were on our phones giving the other a head nod, a watered down laugh or taking pics, which I presumed would get “foodporn” hashtagged while abusing Rocomamma’s wifi. This was a wakeup call to us as a couple. We are often together in each others presence but not present, not fully engaged! This is what Chapter two touches on, Restoring Intimacy.

Social media has the power to connect us to people far away from us but also to disconnect us from people around us.

I can’t tell you how many times I have spoken to someone whose eyes were glued to their cell phone’s screen and making eye contact seemed like too much effort for them. I also can’t tell you how many times I have been that someone! I’m sorry if ever I made anyone feel less than important by giving you divided attention.

 

The author then speaks on the topic of authenticity! How we have become skilled at filtering our lives, showing others only what we want them to see. I can go on about how we as people are out here stunting on social media and living it up but forget we know each other in real life, but not today.

The struggle of integrity is also highlighted in this book, one that I’m all too familiar with.

“It goes from looking to lusting”

Once upon a time I was cyber cheated on (by the spermdonor with a childhood friend of his who has the surname of an animal and lived beyond the boarders of ZA) and a year later I got cyber dumped! Discovering this infidelity (however non physical at that time and with that specific person) I felt utterly betrayed. How do you do that to me when I’m right here and she’s waaay over there? How does she get more of your attention? I didn’t know how to compete with that, and soon learnt that I don’t have to EVER!!

Till today I don’t fiddle on anybody else’s phone. Even after a year and few month of togetherness I don’t have the password to my boyfriend’s phone, even though he has to mine with all open apps. The other day his Facebook was open when I tried logging in from his laptop… did I have the urge to infiltrate his inbox? Yes. No. Did I? Maybe, maybe not… I figured that there is nothing that will stop anyone from cheating, physically or emotionally or however else being unfaithful is possible. Also, can I just request that we not make trusting people feel so stupid? We don’t all have the investigative time or skill to check whose IG pictures are being liked and commented on. Digging into the browser history and trashed emails of our partners. If you have to do any of the activities I just mentioned you need to have a sit down with yourself to try and figure out where the insecurities come from and then a talk with your partner as to why the distrust.

This book kind of reminds me of evangelists, they would say in conclusion but then they fail to conclude! I honestly see this as a bonus though…

Below you’ll find a few of the ten commandments of using social media which is shared in #Struggles:

  1. Put God First In All You Say And Post. This is a bit hectic for me, coz I am indeed an undiscovered comedian and if I see something funny/relatable… I’m gna share coz I’m about that meme life.
  1. Use Social Media to Facilitate, not Replace Real Relationships. I always make an effort to try and hook up with my friends for a coffee or visit outside of cyberspace! Giving a hug and hearing them laugh is better than any emoticon can ever try to express.
  1. Turn Your Virtual Other Cheek to Posts that Offend You. I am getting this right! If you see “commenting…”on your post but the comment never comes it might just be me typing and deleting then typing and deleting.
  1. Do Not Post out of Emotion. Can we please just stop! I understand we need to vent our frustrations but nah!

For the rest of the commandments get your copy at your nearest Cum Books Store.

In conclusion… I have something to confess!

I feel strongly obligated to reply on texts immediately! I am hands down the fastest replier on this or any other planet. I use to get feels when people left me on read but now understand that people get busy and then totally forget.

This book has helped me so much, I even had a few missed calls on my phone and I’m so very proud of that.

I’m well on my way to taking a Cyber Sabbath

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