Sperm-donors are not doing the hashtag any favors though :-/

I never could, and still can’t, understand how a man, a father, can walk away from his children. Walk away from the responsibility he has been entrusted with by God. Not caring or giving a second thought about what that kid is eating or if the child has clothes to wear etc. Truly, it boggles my mind. Forfeiting one’s blessing like that. What’s worse (I personally find it funny) is when they get involved with a woman who has her own children and he sees to them but forgets that he has his own. There must be a special place for people as such in afterlife! Anyway, who am I to condemn? I don’t know the first thing about being a father. I do however know that the responsibility is huge and requires men of substance to fulfil this role. If it was easy there wouldn’t have been so many fatherless children, now would there?

While standing in the queue at the tuckshop at one of Jazzy’s athletic meets, one of her friends asked her, “Why is your daddy never here, Jazzy?” She looked to me and said, “My mommy’s here.” The girl asked an honest question, a question Jazzy had no honest answer to. At first she would get a mini anxiety attack when asked this question. These days she curves them like a pro … something no child should have to do!  I’ve heard the lies she tells her friends sometimes. She knows the truth. I think she is ashamed of the truth. Or maybe she just doesn’t know how to communicate it to them.

I felt so embarrassed once when Jaz asked my friend to be her daddy (in the presence of his girlfriend. Awwwkard). We were all  laughing that moment because it was really funny, the way she went about it. He loves kids and gives them attention, having proper conversations with them. It’s only later when I sat down and thought about it that it hit me. My dad is the closest person she had to being a father to her, but he is passed ‘dad stage’. He is at grandfather stage now (I’m sure he is reading this and will do double sets at the gym today to prove himself a generation younger).  

I remember this one volleyball match I played during my high school years. It was EP trials and thus very important to me. We were a mixed group of players, not vibeing at all. We sucked so bad. We were losing already and I kinda was just there waiting on the final whistle to blow so I could be put out of my misery. But then I heard a whistle that I was all too familiar with. ‘The call’. My dad’s call. At that moment that was an instruction for me to get “my gat in rat”. Meanwhile I didn’t see him in the crowd. According to me, he was working a 12 hour shift and only my mom was supposed to show up. Nonetheless, it was the encouragement that I needed! If it wasn’t for that whistle I wouldn’t have made the team. Also, I used to be such a show off sometimes, especially if my dad was watching.


Judging from the social media accounts of my sister and I, one can easily draw the conclusion that we are daddy’s girls. We had the privilege to be raised by both our parents where our father played a very active role. He wasn’t just present, he was active! I have to emphasize that because I’ve touched on this before in a post titled BROKEN HOME.

Today I want to pray a double portion of God’s favour upon the men who help us raise our kids. I know that it’s a bit difficult when it comes to discipline. How strict can I be? How loud is too loud? To spank or not to spank? My cousin married a man who loves her child as much as he loves the child they have together. I remember this one time when he strongly reprimanded my cousin’s child (and rightfully so). He got the words that no step-dad who does right by child wants to hear. “You’re not my father”.  I can imagine how hurt he must have been but that didn’t stop him from being a good father, and to this very day he still is.  

I am extremely blessed to have a partner that not only accepts my daughter but goes out of his way to establish a personal relationship with her. Sometimes they make me feel as if I’m the third wheel. They have their own greet and when something really exciting happens Jaz would ask me to buy her airtime so she can text him. He listens to her stories, answers her questions and entertains her theories. He teaches her things and doesn’t mind sitting through hours and hours of chess tournaments. He expresses his pride in her whenever she does well and encourages her when things don’t go accordingly.


I just want to take this opportunity to give all the step-fathers a special shout out. You guys are the real MVP’s, and sorry for us being extra sometimes and pulling the “My child” card. To our fathers, uncles, cousins and brothers for being role models, babysitters, investors, disciplinarians and shepherds, we acknowledge you. We appreciate you all. Thank you for making our #SingleMomProblems a little less.

So, go ahead ladies… tag a man that helps out with your kid/s and show them some love <3

Also do stop by The Deal Is to see what my blog buddy has to say.


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