Whenever people use the phrase, ‘I grew up in a broken home’ our minds immediately register that this person’s parents are divorced. When in actual fact a home is not broken because of or as a result of a divorce; but divorce is a result of a broken home.
What I’m trying to say is that a broken home does not necessarily mean that the parents are separated. The family structure (Father, Mother, Children) may be in place and still the home could very much be broken! The functionality of the family is not in order.
I use to stay up at night thinking of ways to explain to Jaz what was happening, in a way that she would understand. Children are so clever and often underestimated by grownups. I noticed that her family portraits were missing a certain somebody, but she doesn’t forget to draw in the dog. In these pictures I wear high heels and lots of bling and we live in a big house with a chimney and the smoke is coming out. Our grass is green and there’s butterflies everywhere and we all have big smiles. I’m not a child psychologist or a drawing interpreter but (in my mind) this is not a picture drawn by a girl growing up in a broken home. There is stability, protection, happiness, order, rules, laughter, respect and lots of love and care.
The prayer of my heart is… that she will never feel inferior or feel a void because she grew up without her biological father. That she will never use this situation as an excuse, or adopt a victim mentality. That she will excel in everything she does and that she will know and not be ashamed of where she comes from and be thankful towards those who raised her.
And may the words ‘I grew up in a broken home’ never cross her lips.