I wasn’t looking to be in a relationship, didn’t have my eye on anyone and I ignored  DMs and Inboxes like I do my 5am alarm during winter months. So I was in the safe zone, my chances of dating was a solid 0%, just the way I wanted it. I was finally happy and I enjoyed being single. Plus I was bald… and who (in this superficial world that we find ourselves in) would want this bald chick anyways? Well, boyfriend did!

Ohkay, I know I talk a lot of trash and sometimes my dad has to call me to order but allow me to be dead serious for a minute…

Jaz and I have been living in an unstable environment for 3 years. During this time we’v stayed in 12 houses and moved between 3 provinces. Hectic… I know! She fell ill while we were up in Johannesburg. The doctor said she had perfect health but between a cough that usually ends with me cleaning up vomit, high fevers and skin rashes, I was forced to take her back. That day I learned a new word, Dr said her condition was “psychosomatic”. What happened after that I am not yet ready to share, but since THAT day I vowed to provide her with stability, protect her with all my might and ensure that I never raise a person who will need to recover from their childhood, EVER!

Hence, I try to avoid situations that can result in disappointment and things that are out of my control. I know this is not always possible. So I made a choice to stay single…coz welcoming someone into my life would be welcoming someone into her life. And how does a person cope with two broken hearts?

For two years and a few months this warrior princess managed to successfully dodge and withstand the fiery darts not only of Ephesians 6:16 but of thirsty niggas. Then along came this soldier boy, with no dart…he had something different, and with that he managed his way into her heart.


I have so much gratitude towards God for creating a special breed of  people who invest their time and energy, who chose to take up the responsibility to help shape a little mind and be a role model.

Anyway let me rather answer your questions and stop pushing up the word count.


How long did you wait before you introduced your partner to your daughter?

For the first two months we would meet up in public places. Hanging out, talking, laughing, getting to know each other.  I had to make double, triple- sure he’s legit before I invite him over. I would not allow a wolf in sheep clothing to disturb our peace… and that is the scariest part of it all! A person never really knows! This is where you need to ask God for wisdom and a spirit of discernment. Also we had to establish our friendship first. Some people may think this was too soon, but this was when WE were ready.


How did you introduce them?

Jaz saw Laz for the first time on my phone and wanted to know who the guy with the bushy hair was. I told her it’s my friend then she asked why don’t I know this friend? Coz I know all your friends. So I said you’ll meet him soon. She was super excited and very shy the day he rocked up at our home. She warmed up and shyness went through the window. Then she wanted to know If Laszlo (yes she calls him by his full name, and always sings his last name coz… MAYA THE BEE)  was a boy that is a friend or if he is my boyfriend. 😉 Clever child! I told her he was both.

Do they get along?

…like a house on fire! I am often excluded from games and she prefers his help with home work or reading when he is around and I low-key like it… but got to act jealous just for effect!  While typing this, I’m reminded of this one day when they didn’t get along… she wanted to have or do something and he wouldn’t let her!  It was so hard for him to say no. But he survived!!



…and that my people is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!


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8 thoughts on “Truth Be Told- Dating as a Single Mom”

  1. And there my tears are rolling down my face. Firstly for what you and jaz had to endure and than the happy tears for what you have received through love and friendship. Love you you my sis. Always speak the truth and inspire other women who are facing demons of this life.

  2. Your approach is true and sober. You have such insight and frankness…and I believe it is from God. You inspire me Ruthi.

  3. You have this thing where you always leave me speechless,l after reading any of your blog posts.

    All I’d like to say to this is, like a true lioness you provided and just came out stronger on the other side. Got mad love for you my friend.

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